Behold the One…

In his book, Tattoos on the Heart: The Power of Boundless Compassion, Father Gregory Boyle is pondering our view of God and the impact that it has on us as human beings.  It is huge actually.  As a pastor, I find people who view God as a CEO or boss.  That does not produce people with radiant joy because how do you know if you have done enough to keep the boss happy.  Others, I have found, think of God as a sort of celestial Santa Claus; he is there to give good things to good children and a lump of coal to those who are bad. Again, this doesn’t produce a resilient, radiant person who is deeply in love with God.  Still others think of God as a dear old friend who just wants everyone to be happy and will, in fact, baptize any and all sins, just as long as it appears on the surface that everyone is having a good time.  I could go on.  I’m embarrassed to tell you the distortions my crooked heart will sometimes come up with.But it is true, your vision of God affects you at every level, but most profoundly at your core, your essence - the real you.  That image of God you have fashioned will also play a huge, huge role in what you will do when you stray away from the gospel.  I know this first hand too.  I have been through seasons of my life when my view of God was not healthy or accurate; when I strayed it was hard to come back, thinking that God was a celestial policeman, just ready to scold me, write me a ticket, and tell me what a disappointment I was to him.  Even after developing a healthy view of God, I still lose sight of that at times and have to run back to the Scripture to make sure the gospel is true, God is my Father, and that he loves and accepts me because of grace and not any merit in me.Which brings me back to Father Gregory.  I have been pondering a story he told about how powerful it is to have a true view of God.  Father Gregory is a Jesuit Priest who works with gangs in Los Angeles and because he works with people at the margins of life, tends to be more honest about spiritual matters than most people are.  This is because people at the margins of life know, both by experience and intuition, that if God doesn’t deal with us totally by grace then we are doomed.  For those of us in suburbia this is not the case. We tend to think that because we have been somewhat successful and don’t mess it up too bad, God is lucky to have us!  Anyway, Father Gregory’s mentor and friend, named Bill Cain, took time off from work to be with his dying father. Bill’s father was beaten down and frail from his fight with cancer when Bill went to care for him. He was dependent on his son for everything. And while Bill’s father’s body was wasting away from cancer, his mind was still as sharp as a steel trap and so he enjoyed a lively communion with is dad.The thing that stuck out with Bill about his dad in those last days was a ritual that occurred at night after he helped his father to bed. Bill would read to his father, like his father had read to him when he was a small boy. Bill would be reading a novel and his father would lie down and just stare at his son, smiling. Bill would be exhausted from caring for his dad all day and would finally look at his dad and say, “Dad, I read, you fall asleep.” His father would sheepishly apologize and dutifully close his eyes. Bill would keep reading and he would look up see his dad with one eye open smiling at his son. Bill would then plead with is dad and again his dad would close his eyes till Bill started reading again and then open an eye to catch a glimpse of his son.After Bill’s dad died, he would think of his father who couldn’t keep his eyes off his boy and that thought and picture swirling around in his imagination would bring a smile to his face and would heal his heart a bit and fill him with wonder - he had a dad who just couldn’t keep his eyes off his kid.  What if God looked at his children like that?  What would it do to your heart if you knew that as another Jesuit priest, Anthony de Mello, says, “Behold the One beholding you, and smiling.” What if you knew that God was like that, he couldn’t take his eyes off of you, and not because he was trying to catch you doing something bad, but just because he delighted in you?  That might be a game changer.But is that true?  Does God behold his children and delight in them?  In you personally?  Well, if the Bible is to be believed then whatever is true of Jesus is true of you if you are a believer.  That is the meaning of the cross.  Jesus took your sins and bore them away on the cross and then when God looks at you, he sees Jesus. What does he see?  What does the Father see when he looks at his son? Well, the overwhelming delight of God the Father in his son, rent the fabric of reality and broke through the clouds and through the heat and humidity of a normal Judean day and, looking at his son, God spoke from heaven and said, “You are my Beloved, in whom I am wonderfully pleased.”  Because of the cross I get that.  I get what Jesus got.  I get God beholding me and smiling.That is what brings me home when I stray.  That is what my imagination can’t get over.  That is why I show up in the Soul Room almost every day.  That is also why I show up in my community and show up for worship.  I see that God is like this in the Bible.  I see in my community people smiling and delighting in me, just for who I am.  I hear and sing about a God like that in worship, and with everything that is in me I try to tell the story each week of a God who looks at you and because of what Jesus did, is beaming with delight. That is a game changer!  That is the gospel, “Behold the One beholding you and smiling.”